Don't Cry... Alone

Be the Outlier

One summer night, I was over at my buddy’s house. We were catching up over a few drinks by the pool after I got back from a trip abroad where I proposed to my now fiancée. My buddy’s father, a mentor in my life, decided to join us and see how we were doing. Hearing the news about my proposal, he told me, “You are defying your generation.” He laughed and patted my back, then returned to his living room. That statement really stuck with me. A few months later I discovered a book called “The Happiness Advantage” by Shawn Achor. He introduces the idea that our society is fixated on understanding and emphasizing the average. We never pay attention to the outliers that are above or below that average. But what if we did? What if we focused on becoming the outlier. Now, I’m not suggesting that everyone should get married at such a young age. What I'm saying is that it’s okay to be the outlier in your own way. If you’re doing something that is true to your heart, maybe it’ll even break down a social norm or two. Either way, if it feels right and it propels you forward, then it’s probably worth pursuing.

There is Enough Time in the Day

With my new engagement, not only do I continue to account for my own goals and ambitions, but now I also have to account for those of my partner. This adds an interesting dynamic to life in my early 20’s. In order to reach all these goals, I must maintain a certain discipline and fully embrace the “outlier” mentality. I work a full-time job, run 2 companies on the side, and serve on the board for 2 nonprofits. And after all my work is done, I spend my “free time” planning for my wedding in August. I’ve been asked how I manage everything I’m involved in. It sometimes leaves people in disbelief to hear that I can make everything happen given there are only 24 hours in a day. For me, it comes down to recognizing the importance of my relationship and the future I want. I stay motivated by maintaining a concentrated discipline and dedicating myself to time management. Because of this, I'm more productive than I’ve been in a long time. By positioning yourself to manage time more effectively and by not letting distractions interfere, you will get more done in less time and with less energy. Give it a try! Pick a day and schedule your goals (yes; even the things you’ve been putting off since last year). But do it strategically. Find the time slots that are most convenient in your life. Make an internal pinky promise that you’ll get the task done no matter what. Not because you have to, but because it’s one step closer towards your future success. Building on this incrementally will result in huge strides toward your goals in the long run. If you put in the time, it’s almost impossible not to succeed. This has allowed me to have more time to enjoy life once my work is done. I’ve been able to pick up a few new books, enjoy some cooking tutorials, and even learn how to code with Python. Honestly, there’s no secret recipe to how I make it work. For me, my engagement came with a shift from an “I” mentality to a “we” mentality, and that alone has motivated me to work at 110% in all areas of my life.

Relationships and Gratitude are the Highest Forms of Wealth

Though I enjoy everything I’m involved in, life is not all about “the grind.” Probably not what you expected to hear after everything I just touched on, right? But here’s the truth: you will burn out at some point if you choose the grind as your sole focus. Trust me, I’ve burned out plenty of times. It’s not worth the energy. Romantic or not, you have many relationships in life. What keeps me going outside of the grind is forming and maintaining those relationships. My friends are the best thing I could ask for in life. Without them, I lose sight of my personal endgame. The “we succeed” mentality I mentioned earlier should be applied to all relationships. If you’re not willing to help or provide guidance for others, especially those close to you, then you will lose in the long run. The goal should be to rise up and empower others, expressing gratitude, and maybe inspiring someone in the process. Something I hold dear to myself and what I identify with in the SPILT MILK philosophy most is gratitude. Every night, before I go to bed, I write down three things that went well that day. This can be anything from a simple meal to a great conversation. A great way to know you’re maintaining strong relationships is to write down a positive experience you had with a friend. Over time, you’ll see mutual empowerment through your support system. I’ve been doing this for several months now and it’s forced me to see all the good around me everyday. Realistically, you won’t have a great day every day, and it’s important to remember those bad experiences too. It’ll make you a more gracious person overall. 

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With a shift in perspective, you’ll develop the ability to be optimistic in just about any situation. Bottom line: be true to yourself with your goals, focus on the loved ones you have in your life, and work harder than everybody else. Life is an interesting game, but be optimistic as you play. If you get knocked down, get back up and hit harder. The reasonable optimist always ends up on top.

by Alika Chuck - AgTech pioneer. Wine connoisseur. Reasonable optimist.

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Should Quarantine be a Catalyst?

Keeping Up with the Pace of the Game

On Friday nights, I have a Zoom call with some good friends from college. Even though it only lasts about an hour, it’s been a major factor in sustaining my social life through quarantine while in-person interaction isn’t possible. There’s something about seeing everyone’s faces and getting back to our usual shenanigans that gives me a boost until our next call. As I’m sure many of you have noticed on similar calls with family and friends, once you get above five people on a call, it’s difficult to figure out who should talk and how to manage the flow of the conversation. It makes you realize how many cues we miss when we’re unable to talk in-person. To solve this issue, I decided to start asking hopefully thought provoking questions, where we could go down the line and everyone could respond. After a recent call, one response from a friend stood out to me. The question was, “If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?” The answer was that he wished he focused less on comparing himself to others and more about progressing at his own pace. Especially with people constantly posting achievements and updates on social media, it’s been hard for many, including myself, not to feel that way.

Entering the Golden Age of Social Media

Over the next week, I thought more about this concept my friend had brought up and realized that this feeling had dissipated for me. With everyone holed up, businesses shut down or trying to survive, and people unable to go about their normal lives, there has been this forced pause. While the negative implications have been frustrating for nearly everyone, this situation has also created a sort of calm. We’ve been able to focus more on community and connection than feeling like we have to prove our progress. We’ve seen social media being used as it was originally intended, inspiring friends to share favorite albums, to stay fit or to give shout-outs to those you appreciate. There’s a level of togetherness that many of us have not seen before. As we’re in the midst of this shared experience during the pandemic, there’s been a shift from a disconnected world of individuals to a more close-knit community where people are actively supporting each other.  

Dance Like No One is Watching… and Keep Dancing

With that in mind, there has never been a better time than now to try new things, fail, learn and improve. With no one to watch or judge, we can finally focus on what we truly care about whether it’s ourselves or our relationships with family and friends. When everyone else is stuck thinking about what they can’t do right now, what can you accomplish when you’re competing against no one but yourself? When this is over, will we let the same pressures and attitudes return, or will we be able to use this crisis as a catalyst to get more out of ourselves and our lives? Will it be a missed opportunity to go back to the way things were and not go to the way they should be? For the world, only time can tell; but for ourselves, we have the power to decide these outcomes. Live in the moment. Have fun. Give thanks. Don’t cry over SPILT MILK.

by Max Palladini - Strategist. Auto-enthusiast. Aspiring sneaker-head. SoCal native.

Follow Max on Instagram @maxpalladini and connect with him on LinkedIn here.