Bored to Tears Part 3: I Never Learned How to Play an Instrument

I can’t even begin to tell you how many projects or hobbies I’ve started over the years, only to give up part of the way through and move on to something else. Maybe it’s simply because I work on these things too much and get bored too quickly. After all, it’s normal for us to lose interest in things if we overdo it right out of the gate. Or maybe it’s because I tell myself that I don’t have time to continue with these things and that I should be spending time working on the things that “matter” or are “more important.” We’re all taught to prioritize and focus on work before we allow ourselves to play. Both of these possibilities offer valid explanations as to why I’ve given up on so many ambitions, and why so many people just like me have done the same. But I think there’s something else going on here. I’ve just had trouble admitting it to myself until recently.

Let me give you an example of one of my abandoned ambitions of the past. Growing up, a lot of my friends could play an instrument. Sometimes, this was on their own accord. Most of the time, however, it was because their parents “forced” them to learn. That’s beside the point. The fact is, they could play an instrument and I could not. Guitar, piano, saxophone, drums, whatever. Didn’t matter. I felt like I was missing out. So, in seventh grade I signed up for an elective class in guitar and daydreamed of what it would be like to finally know how to play an instrument. As the class got started, my progression was decent. Towards the end of the semester, I could even play a couple songs from memory and maybe a few more if I looked at the sheet music for reference. But something happened during the last few weeks of the class. We were assigned a final song that was more challenging than what we had previously learned to play. And I struggled. A lot. For the first time throughout the entirety of the class, this song did not come even somewhat easily to me. I was frustrated to say the least, but managed to learn a small part of the song with some practice. I got a poor grade on that final assignment, but still ended up with an A in the class (probably because I excelled in the easy stuff early on and built myself a cushion to fall back on when the going got tough). Despite earning a good grade in the end, I haven’t played guitar since.

Why?

Although I never learned how to play an instrument, I look back on that class and I’m able to learn a lot about myself. Namely, that I’m extremely impatient. It’s a weakness of mine that I strive to work on everyday because I have so much room for improvement. I didn’t give up on learning to play guitar due to boredom. And I certainly didn’t give up because I didn’t have the time for it. I gave up because I was frustrated and my failure upset me. You see, those explanations I offered at the beginning of this blog post aren’t really explanations at all. They’re excuses. I wanted to be good at something immediately, and if I was going to fail and risk making myself look bad then maybe I shouldn’t even bother trying. 

Everyone wants to be good at something. But few people are willing to put in the time and effort to get there. Few people are willing to face the frustration that comes with the process of learning. Few people are willing to fail and potentially embarrass themselves along the way. This is the core of what SPILT MILK is all about. When the going gets tough, keep going. Embrace the process and accept that it will take time to realize your goals. Soak up the frustration and let it remind you how much sweeter success will taste once you get there. Use your failures not as reasons to quit, but as reasons to motivate you and as opportunities to learn and grow. 

And if you’re still telling yourself that you’ve just never had the time, quarantine would like to have a word with you. Now is the perfect opportunity to tackle that personal project you never got around to starting or that hobby you gave up on because it got too challenging to improve your skills. Now that we have more time on our hands, let’s ditch the excuses and come face to face with what we’ve been running from. Since the start of quarantine, I’ve been thinking more and more about the guitar collecting dust under my bed. Maybe I’m finally ready to give it another go. Who knows, I might even have some fun in doing so.

To help foster some inspiration and motivation, I want to see what projects you’re working on during quarantine. Next time you find yourself working on your passion project or enjoying your hobby, snap a pic or record a quick video and send it to our DM’s @spiltmilk_clothing with a brief description of what you’ve been up to. We’ll share some of our favorite submissions on our Instagram page at the end of the weekend. Don’t let excuses get in the way of doing what you love. Live in the moment. Have fun. Make mistakes. Don’t cry over SPILT MILK.

By Noah Jacobs, Founder of SPILT MILK

Bored to Tears Part 2: Thanksgiving is a Stupid Holiday

Okay, so the title of this blog post is admittedly a little misleading. I actually enjoy Thanksgiving. I love spending time with family and friends and I love food. So naturally, there’s nothing for me not to like about the occasion. So why do I think it’s a stupid holiday despite enjoying it so much?

Let me set the scene for a typical Thanksgiving holiday with my family. We usually celebrate potluck style, with each household bringing a few dishes for everyone to share. The evening before is usually spent doing the prep work for whatever dishes we’re set to bring to dinner. My family always cooks green bean casserole and sweet potato pie. These have become our “signature” dishes. Other than that, we don’t do anything out of the ordinary to mark the occasion. The next day, we get up just after 9:00 am and spend most of our time leading up to dinner in the kitchen. Around 2:00 pm, we pack up the food and drive across town to my aunt and uncle’s house. The rest of my family has already started gathering in anticipation of the feast to come. Everyone is chatting and hanging out for about an hour or so, and we sit down to eat close to 3:00 pm. Before we eat, we have a tradition of going around the table and saying what we are each most thankful for. Answers range from family and friendships, to new job and education opportunities, to simple things like food and shelter. After circling the table and listening to what everyone has to say, we dig in. When dinner is over, we usually stick around and play games for a few hours until everyone is too tired and full to carry on. Before 10:00 pm, we’re in the car heading back to our house where we enter into a food coma until the next morning comes. 

Okay, so where’s the problem? If I had to guess, you might still be wondering why I’d even bother to talk about Thanksgiving in April anyway. Let me explain. As I mentioned before, the family time and delicious food are both awesome. Nothing wrong there. But notice something very peculiar about my typical Thanksgiving holiday. Notice how little time my family and I actually spend “giving thanks” in the entirety of that 24-hour span supposedly dedicated to expressing appreciation of the things we are most thankful for. In fact, it only lasts for about 10 minutes, all said and done. Even crazier, those brief 10 minutes might even be the only time we explicitly express how thankful we are for the things we care about all year. 

Simply put, I think Thanksgiving is a stupid holiday because I see so many people (myself included) use it as an excuse. 365 days in a year, and we wait for one day to tell everyone how grateful we are for all the good things we have in life. That seems pretty absurd when you think about it that way. As I mentioned in the first part of this series, Bored to Tears Part 1, changing your perspective can make you happier in the long run. Adding to that is one simple concept:

GRATITUDE.

No need to save it for a special occasion. We should take time to reflect on the things we are most grateful for each and every day. Remind yourself not only what you’re thankful for, but why you’re thankful for those things in the first place. And if it’s a person you're thankful for, let them know! During these tough times, I’ve already seen so many people taking to social media to express gratitude towards friends, family, and coworkers. And if you haven’t done so already, there’s no time like the present. Or, take it one step further and call someone up or send a text and tell them personally how thankful you are for them. 

Especially now, we can all benefit from a little extra gratitude and positivity. Getting in the habit of expressing gratitude is easier than you might think. If you don’t regularly remind yourself of the things you appreciate, I want you to try something. Each day, take a few minutes to write down three things you’re grateful for. That’s it. Three small things. It doesn’t even have to be in some fancy journal or diary. Write it on a sticky note. Use the notes app on your phone. Draw on the back of your hand. Whatever. You’ll find pretty quickly that you start to think of all kinds of things you would normally take for granted. Hopefully, you’ll even come to be thankful for the opportunity to learn from the adversity we’re currently facing, as you live your life with the “don’t cry” philosophy in mind. 

Tell us what you’re most thankful for by using the Instagram story template below. Save the template using the link below. Express your gratitude, tag three people you are thankful for, and tag @spiltmilk_clothing. A little gratitude goes a long way. Live in the moment. Have fun. Give thanks. Don’t cry over SPILT MILK.

Link to Instagram Story Gratitude Template, Click Here.

By Noah Jacobs, Founder of SPILT MILK

Bored to Tears Part 1: Stay The Fuck Home

If you’re reading this right now, it’s probably from the comfort of your home. And if you’re like me, you’ve been practicing social distancing for the better part of a month now. I’ll admit, for the first week or so of “isolating” prior to the state-mandated shelter in place (currently writing this from Los Angeles, CA), I would still get together with small groups of friends. We wouldn’t meet anywhere in public, but we would still hang out at each other’s apartments or houses. 

But since the shelter-in-place order, I’ve been staying at home with family and have fully committed to keeping my social distance. Because of this, I’ve been physically isolated from friends and have to keep in touch using social media and video calls. Because of this, I have to have groceries delivered to my house. Because of this, I can’t hit the gym or play soccer, so I have to do bodyweight workouts in my room.

This has been incredibly difficult to deal with. My friends mean the world to me and, as a naturally-extroverted person, I have often found it challenging to keep myself happy and entertained. Not to mention the fact that I like to stay active and usually get out and about to keep busy. Perhaps it’s having more limited social interaction than usual. Or perhaps it’s simply being confined within the walls of my house. Maybe it’s a combination of both. Either way, I’ve found myself thinking the following far too often:

“I’M SO FUCKING BORED…”

Once again, if you’re reading this right now, you can probably relate. Staying at home can be boring at times (or most of the time, even). Being away from friends sucks. Realizing you can’t go anywhere is frustrating. This is all true, and you’d be right to think any of these things in the situation we’re currently living through. But you’re also very, very wrong in thinking these exact same things. Yes, you read both of those sentences correctly. So how can you be right and wrong while having these thoughts of boredom, sadness, anger, and frustration? 

PERSPECTIVE.

Just take a look at the second paragraph in this blog post. Essentially, I’m talking about the nature of my current situation and then complaining about every aspect of that same situation. Sure, nothing is ideal right now. But what do I really have to complain about? I love spending time with my family. I’m able to chat with my friends and stay up to date with everything they’re doing these days. I have plenty of food to cook meals with and eat snacks whenever I want. I have the time to workout five times every week. 

But it’s that one, small phrase that makes all the difference. Re-read that second paragraph I just talked about. You’ll notice I use the phrase “have to” in each of those complaints. As if I’m completely burdened by these unfavorable circumstances. I want you to try something now. Every time you see the phrase “have to” in that paragraph, replace it with the words “get to.” Go ahead, try it. That subtle swap in phrasing makes a huge difference. With a shift in perspective, you can change your attitude from complaining about how bad you think your situation is to realizing how privileged you really are. 

While staying home isn’t much of a choice if we want to overcome COVID-19 in a reasonable amount of time, those of us who are able to stay home right now are actually quite fortunate. And to those of you who can’t stay home and don’t have a choice in going to work (quick shoutout to all the amazing healthcare, grocery, and delivery workers out there), perspective still matters. The real choice always lies in how you look at your situation. That’s the core of SPILT MILK and our “don’t cry” philosophy. So what if your situation isn’t exactly how you’d want it to be? So what if life knocks you down sometimes? So what if all you want to do is complain about the cards you’ve been dealt? 

Life sucks sometimes. Shit happens. I get it. But look around. There’s a lesson to learn from every bad situation you’ve ever been in and every mistake you’ve ever made. It might be difficult to spot sometimes, but I guarantee it's always there. You may have heard me say this before, but I love failing. Making mistakes. Messing up. All of it. It’s awesome. Don’t believe me? Just check out this old blog post I wrote called “I Love Failing. Here’s Why You Should, Too.” Perspective is everything. The choice is yours.

See for yourself. Write down a few of your biggest complaints about having to stay in quarantine right now. What are you upset about? What frustrates you? Then take a look at that list and try to shift your perspective. What are you still able to do that you enjoy? How bad is your situation, actually? Practicing optimism, especially in the darkest of times, can make a substantial difference in your everyday life.

Remember, this pandemic will not last forever. But with a little practice and a positive attitude, your happiness will increase long after it’s all said and done. Live in the moment. Have fun. Stay safe. Don’t cry over SPILT MILK.

by Noah Jacobs, Founder of SPILT MILK

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Read the other blog posts in our Bored to Tears series: Part 2 & Part 3

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It's Never Been About the Clothes...

It’s been a minute. In fact, it’s been 486 days since my last blog post and 112 days since I threw some pics on Instagram (shameless plug, @spiltmilk_clothing if you aren’t already following). I keep asking myself why it was such a struggle to keep pushing the brand forward, especially over the past year or so. A few things come to mind. But the most obvious answer is that I was nearing the end of my journey through college. 

I put a lot of pressure on myself to figure out not only what I wanted to do with my life, but also what I needed to do to support myself. Starting a clothing brand, unless you get some lucky break (and I’m talking really, really lucky), is not the move if you care about short-term financial freedom. And I’ve had a love-hate relationship with SPILT MILK because of this reality. The ebb and flow of the energy I put into the brand has always been the result of this constant clash between my desire to be creative and my need to be practical. In the past few months, I’ve graduated from college and taken a corporate job with a big company. Although SPILT MILK has been on the back burner, I’m determined not to let it fade away. But why am I telling you all this?

Here’s where I’m at now. That big, corporate job I just told you about? I was laid off about a week ago, only two months into the position. Thanks COVID-19!

The virus and the damage it’s causing worldwide sucks, but it’s been a huge reminder of why I made SPILT MILK in the first place. It’s never been about the clothes. It’s about inspiring everyone to live out their own “don’t cry” philosophy. Embracing your mistakes. Standing tall in the face of adversity. Am I bummed that I got let go from a well-paying job working for people I really admire? Of course! But I think this pandemic and all the terrible things that have and will come of it serve as a testament to the brand and what we stand for. There is so much to learn from these strange times.

Although I won’t be dropping new threads anytime soon, I’m not going to let the current situation stop me from getting creative and spreading the word about SPILT MILK and our “don’t cry” philosophy. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting blogs as part of a series to help you learn how to shift your perspective and make the most out of your time in quarantine. You may have felt bored, sad, stressed, lonely, or all of the above at one point or another during this whole ordeal. But you’re not alone. Don’t cry, let’s do something about it. Together.

Keep an eye out for fresh posts and be sure to share with friends and family.

By Noah Jacobs, Founder of SPILT MILK